All pro-lifers who care less about the consequences equally deserve to be judged by their God the same way they believe pro-choicers are. This is absolutely cruel.

You know who you are. The fetus kicking the shit out of me will know who each of you are too…and will have you to be grateful to.

Yes I’m aware how bipolar this update sounds after the posts preceding it…but I think everyone deep down understands that for those who believe they’re losing everything- starting out with nothing makes you a whole lot more attached, a whole lot more willing and a whole lot more grateful…and a whole lot more incapable of showing or expressing any of it to satisfactory standard. FAIL T____T

Look, she still has her best friend available locally (domestically even!), she still has her employment, she has a home to go back to, hell, she still has more family existing than I ever did. So I can’t even relate! Don’t tell someone how bad of a situation she’s in when you don’t even know the situation of the other person(s) you’re explaining it to.

When I find a suitable picture to commemorate his legacy, I will post it here. Yes, his name was Pikachu. So oldskool.

Photographer; Martin Nguyen.

Of course friends are not without their flaws; because he’s ditched us for another nightclub as venue manager. His new girlfriend is also a bit scary and it’s always really awkward when I see her and I try to avoid her as much as possible to respect their relationship because everything we used to do is now apparently taboo. Females are so territorial, even if they come after the fact. lol. It’s something I know I’m guilty of as well… and it’s retarded. It gets a bit too much when this best friend is the only best friend you regularly get to see.  Girls have a way of whinging and sulking and denying before challenging their partners to do something out of ‘frustration’ and in that mode of having given up, males usually get owned and succumb to the requests of the female. And although they like to profusely and persistently deny this, it’s a generic fact of life.

In fact, we girls whinge about rather trivial things. I mean, I’ll be taking my obligatory three-four month break soon. I know most people would KILL to have this luxury of whisking away for the seasonal holidays to be guaranteed start on return… but I’m whinging because I don’t want this break. I love bartending. I love the owners, the staff, the managers. They’ve become such a huge part of my life that if I were excluded from seeing them I would most likely spiral into a deep depression. I cried about the fact I won’t be bartending for a good half of 3 months (I can’t bring myself to forfeit four) … fucking females and their emotions.. I’ve got so much of it that it leaks out of my face. lol … This time though, instead of holidaying up in Sweden again, I’m leaving based on medical reasons… and honestly, the way this club treats me… I have a life time of gratitude to repay.

So yes, last night I got tipped a $100 note. You know you love work too much when extrinsic motivation plays such a minor role that you voluntarily forfeit it over honestly.  And really, after 20% tax gifted to our beloved bussies, I still brought home $175. I have nothing but love and gratitude for this place and its people (patrons, I hope you realise you’re included in this!). I’m probably going to QQ  when I have to take my break.

Having said this, we’re all going to the zoooooo in early/mid December together. Who said the turnover rate in hospitality is ridiculousy high. Fuck I love this little pocket of life.  I’d do anything not to let it get away…. it’s mine! MINE!!!  (Territorial. What else can be said. )

U mad?

Even my hermit parents and dog. Was I not born with something the rest of you where? I feel like I’ve failed some rite of passage. Or maybe it’s because I’m just super fat and no one wants to be seen with me. HAHAHAHAHAHA. sigh.

Yum Cha is always better with friends…even when you’ve just finished bartending and they’re all waiting for you the following morning. Seeing Lucy, Shane and Angela again meant that although Shirley was missing from this particular catch up, I felt I had my highschool friends back for the day- which was amazing. Yes, secondary school was amazing for me. Don’t be hatin’ ~!!

As a present to myself for such a fine occasion (gone were the days you thought you’d see your best friends everyday, post-highschool) I purchased the only pair of 4½ inch heels in the world which did not make my feet cry…a mirrored deal- to be worn only at other fine occasions. My ‘want list’ (I obviously do more than wish) had perpetually tried to check off a pair of shoes with MASSIVE BOWS and although these are not over the top …they match almost every distinctive part in me.

At a slightly more peachy pink than the metallic lilac featured below, I fucking love these!  Bitch please, I’m no shoe obsess-ee ~ I only wear my ballet flats and Doc Boots! ( Still waiting for several styles to eventuate..bow-back victorian kitten-heeled boots and wide angle boots I can call my own are yet to be located) I wore them and in the review mirror… I swear I suddenly understood foot-fetish.

Really? Comfortable? YES. FUCKING. WAY. FOR SRS. Pura López was not a brand I’d really heard about prior to purchasing- even with a thorough google search. But you can feel quality when your footsies gain a dainty 4.5inches in height and don’t hurt one bit. It turns out that Spaniards, together with Italy make the most superior quality footwear in the most obscenely affordable way. No wonder there was so much positive review for this brand! It’s one of the premier footwear brands of Europe…and at a healthy mid-range between $300 and $500~ you’d expect it to be a decent investment for someone who refuses to suit-up in heels.

They resemble an equally  flamboyant and frivolous version of the Louboutin “Anemone” heels.

Actually, derailing for just a second… a short PSA: Bows need to be huge again in both puns so I can acquire a pink bikini with a GIANT BOW BACK and two MASSIVE side bow-ties.) I know… I really need to just get my designs custom made myself :/ The fashion world is too slow that it’s probably just going to follow my suit.

And so anyway! Last night I was mighty privileged to see Lucy again at San Churros where I hastily ordered a Hot Chocolate (Don’t bother, it doesn’t have anything on Viennese Hot Chocolate or Koko Black, sorry)  before work  (uncanny to be seeing her after work one day and before work the next!)-  That’s TWICE…IN ONE WEEK! A new record since high school!!

Come to think of it, it’s almost 10 kinds of eerie-awesomeness knowing we spent the whole day together in Amsterdam last year following the trail of in-text clues and references of our Year 12 curriculum text; Tracy Chevalier’s Girl with a Pear Earring. And it became the most satisfying pity to subsequently learn that each and every site had been either renovated or destroyed…. “Pity” in the way they got rid of a potential non-drug related, tourist attraction and concurrently “Satisfying” in the sense that we were able to first-handedly witness the visual layout of this one book which was not only analysed to death, but had directly contributed to both our notional ENTER (now ATAR) scores.

Lucy gifted me a most ingenious birthday present (reflective of her intelligence, completely!)… a daywear -sleepwear longsleeve attached by a velvety thick bow A____A (not that my favourite red slipdress can tell the difference between each 24 hour cycle either) Have I mentioned my enthusiasm for bows yet??!

And speaking of other gears- I’m officially getting my bike license after exams. WIN!

and WTF you bandwagoners believing themselves to be so fashionsta they know all about ZARA concepts. I walked passed it and you know what? It looks more H&M this season than ZARA. The world got jibbed. You lose.

Copeland- Should you Return

_________________

In other news; I have come to the realisation there is no way to operationalise my creative project on alcohol tolerance because I was not narcissistic enough to have anything captured or recorded on any sort of visual aid… SHOULD HAVE BEEN MOAR SELF-ABSORBED IN MYSELF. Business plan back-up? Or keep trying… ?! After 9 weeks of research you would think that the only thing to have stopped me was the law.

I don’t want to create a shot … the club is too busy and chocolate cakes are good enough to down religiously.

I already decided against it… but i’m getting pretty desperate….maybe I should create a menu of shots during the week … and just pay stock prices to the club… ;-; I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

I MET NOBUO UEMATSU AND I SHOOK HIS HAND. LALALALALLALA They were so soft and smooshy and I could fangirl all over his composer genius-ness all day! Is there anything more to add to this truly amazing experience? IUNNO. I want to go again(Melbourne please…)! I love this guy! He’s so sweet, funny and humble.

I’m aware I’ve just returned from a Round The World trip, but this weekend I jetted off on my first interstate flight…. to Sydney. For what you may ask? For the Final Fantasy Distant Worlds tour!!!  Playing in the city above outs, the  Sydney Symphony Orchestra hosted such wonderful acoustics at the Sydney Opera House …and we sat right up at the front… to the point we could hear Arnie Roth muttering pro-ness as the night’s human metronome.

The orchestra itself rendered Leah and I explicitly….speechless. In all truthfulness, the Chocobo theme and One Winged Angel were the only two pieces I really wish got reworked because they were the only disappointments; mild disappointments in the sense that for both pieces, instruments that were meant to sound loud were drowned out and notes that were meant to add harmony were clashing above everything else. It all made me a little sad but ultimately not that sort of sad. When Liberi Fatali sounded, I practically bawled the happiest sad face in the world as the start-up screen played the initial play sequence.

To Zanarkand, Terra’s theme and Aerith’s theme were perhaps the other best highlights of the night….And KANON!!! OH MY GOD!!!! She’s so sweet and lovely in person too. Leah and I mentioned we liked her song, “My Destiny” on Angel Heart and she wanted to keep talking! Arnie had to stop her because they were pressed for time. Such a sweetie! I feel so privileged to have heard Suteki Da Ne live and in all its Japanese lyrical sexiness.

Food

A wonderful addition to this adventure were the aided greetings of my long time Ragnarok Online friends, Alex and  MILY! <3 and Leah’s Maple Story friends- all of whom hosted our appetites around Sydney.

• Hurricane Grill pork ribs
• Devil’s Pancakes (on the rocks),
• some random cafe for breakfast, and
• Guylian chocolate dipped fruit for dinner. OM NOM NOM

OTAY, BRB. Leah is tearing up to a sequel we all knew was actually a prequel to FF’s crisis core. (The former of which she is only just playing now)

However, I have worked up a tolerance. Maybe I can create a shot in celebration of my efforts and snap a photo of it at pit 5… or have the resident photographer take a photo of me shooting a chocolate cake down at Fab. Either way… at least there’s progression!

I got a call today from the former organisation I joined two years prior. I helped provide information they said they knew how to obtain anyway (?!) and when asked what I was doing, I responded simply with “playing a game”. I also said I was very busy. I suppose to most people, multi tasking doesn’t occur to be a commonplace skill because  they let me go on my “busy” way to “play my game” haha, how generous!

Research company work tomorrow (I really have to fit in more days after these assessments!) followed by my org psych internship the day after- but best of all is bartending all during the EASTER BREAK AND THE LONG WEEKEND AHEAD! … <3

Training started yesterday and I get to select three tests to develop, refine and market and somehow I’ve ended up with four. HOORAY! I really like the tests I’m working on… I’m not at liberty to disclose them due to confidentiality contracts but I’M SO EXCITED! There are some students who prefer clinical psychology so I’m not sure how they crept through, but I can hardly complain. Everyone is really nice and I’m so excited about the prospects of graduating and working in HR …or better yet… practicing as an organisational psychologist. Okay… I do want to get this business venture up and running while it’s still fresh and revolutionary…so we’ll see…we’ll see! So much to do!

ANYWAY! I’ve put the mask to good use…clearly (because again, I bought the mask and a shipping service; received the mask but not the shipping service)… and om nom nom the mask itself ? worth every cent. At this point in time I wish to thank every patron who tips me…because I usually spend it all back when dressing up for the bar. And I love it! I love our patrons, I love our staff and I love all the authorities who help make it one of the best environments to work in. I’m so spoilt ;___;

And before you say anything, yes I could go and spoil myself rotten to buy nice things…but I think putting it all back where it came from takes me to a whole new world. It means that much more anyway… maybe I’m just too attached to those around me. I’d collapse into a pile of uselessness without everything I have now. How did life become so wonderful?

In all seriousness, what characterises the young elite today should not be weighted on blood line or attitude and concept of the ‘elitist’, but should belong to the select few, who possess desirable traits envied by the rest lower in the order of mankind (those who do nothing), The young elite are today’s younger leaders working for the betterment of mankind and doing something about the current fail-state of the world. It’s a +1 on the definition. Being elite doesn’t have to be a snobby thing, yo.

I should begin blogging about the gustatory experiences (along with the wild purchases you may or may not have heard about) I had the pleasure of om nom noming whilst abroad. I’ll upload a backpost for every new post I make! YES! Now that this creative project allows me the time~

In other news, my room has more pink than I remember before my relocation. And I LOVES IT.

Another aspect I really need to address is saving money.. which isn’t too hard… but when you have to rebuy everything that you’ve grown out of, in hindsight, I regret buying the second-best option in an attempt to fill the void… because now I have this mountain of crap I want to throw away but can’t bring myself to…but all that will change tonight!

After the shower becomes vacant.

And a list of URGENT/IMPOTANT to-dos before the week is out

1.) Finish lecture 2 notes for PMP

2.) Fix room and remove things I don’t need

3.) Send assignment, see Merv, Ben and Trent.

4.) recap exchange from Sweden

5.) upload photos from RTW trip

6.) nab other photos from Diva.

7.) work on layout for website

8.) work on business plan

I think I’ll just change my goals to “document my amazing life on this blog”…that way my how-many-shots-of-tequila-can-she-down-in-an-hour challenge can be encompassed as a feature post within the blog. THAT’S THE WAY… CONSUME EVERY SMALL IDEA IN MY PATH AND MAKE THEM RIDICULOUSLY GRAND AND IMPOSSIBLE FOR ANYONE ELSE TO COMPETE.

My new goals for this creative project are:

1.) Change the world

2.) Update it

It’s better when vague… because then you can zone in on more specificity when you have time. Imagine documenting my tolerance every week. /shudders. Actually LETS DO THAT. CAMERA. MEMORY. CHECK!

Serious eyelining there~

Quite literally, this week’s theme for my club is ‘Masquerade’. And the mask I wanted to import wouldn’t make it in time D8!! Of course, I won’t purchase something if it’s not worth investing in. And if I’m investing in it, it better be reflected in its dollar value, for as shallow as it sounds, resale value is quite easy to manipulate if the quality and price of your article is highly sought. You need to be careful though, so often a time it’s better to not splurge as you can find real value when you really look. But I am a professional when it comes to scouting the market for niche value. And this to me, is value. Quite simply,  if it’s going on my face, I better invest in it…it better be of quality, it better be worthwhile…And worthwhile I made it.

Knowing that the mask I wanted wasn’t going to make it this time, I reluctantly looked away from the lovely ‘Lucia’ mask from the not-so-lovely website. (It’s okay, I’m having it custom made for me from another, authentic Venetian Mask website).  And what I have purchased will be resold to afford the costs of this new custom piece. But now, since time is of the essence, I looked to another website to have it delivered to me.

So today is Tuesday. The Masquerade is Sunday. I bought two masks; two masks due to what I like to call the ’may-as-well syndrome’; a syndrome you acquire when the value of one thing (shipping) exceeds the value of another (the item you originally intended to procure).  Importing to my island/country/continent (ie// Australia) costs €60 EURO alone…for a two-day express shipment. And no, this was a very timely purchase as there was no way to be alerted much more ahead of time which themes were going to appear when and in what order. So back to what I was saying; €60 Euro for shipping. How could I *not* tack another mask? I wasn’t going to incur extra costs beyond this anyway.

I truly wanted to travel to Venice to select and collect my masks because eventually I *will* end up with a spectrum of Venetian masks in metal, papier mache, leather, macrame/lace. but now I’ll have another day…and really, these two are authentic Venetian masks anyway. Selling one would transfer the funds over to my custom mask. (Oh come on, we all know everything I own has to have me written all over it- to be personalised and customised according to my distinctive traits.) Ultimately, my vote is to wear what I can and sell them when it comes to procuring that dream Venetian mask; in person. OM NOM NOM.

The two masks I purchased? Macrame and Metal-cut. We’ll see when I unbox them two days later. TWO DAYS, HEAR ME?!

Speaking mildly and briefly of distinctive traits- a co-worker from my other workplace mentioned that she knew me from before I travelled overseas…because I looked very distinctive. AWWWWWW A__________A Good to know I reside in peoples’ memories beyond the 7 month mark of absence.

Unpacking the rest of my room…Living with a housemate who I care deeply about and who shares the same classes and course as me… catching up with everyone back in Melbourne… bartending again…loving both assessments (creative project and debate)….very much loved by someone I love….my room is pink…my glasses are pink… my eyes are still the same intense blue everyone else is now copying… I love life!